20 Reasons Why ENFP Sucks

Have you ever wondered who you are? Recently, I’ve been feeling confused about life (happy thoughts I know) and I found it extremely difficult to know who I was without my labels. It’s been like I’ve been living the past few months in a trance. 

So I ended up spending my night on a personality test – now yes I am aware this doesn’t give me a whole load of answers but it definitely made me feel better, I’m not saying I now know who I am but I feel like there’s an explanation or some kind of understanding I now have with myself.

 Carl Jung created a theory about personality and there are 16 different types –  The first condition being Extraversion vs Introversion, the second is Sensing vs Intuition, the third is Thinking vs Feeling and lastly, Judging vs Perceiving.  In this psychological test I scored a ENFP characteristic trait.

So what does that mean? – Extraversion –Engaging with people, Intuition – perceiving new potential, Feelings – making choices based on my subject values/core beliefs and perception – which means I have a flexible life style (apparently). According to Wikipedia, characteristics with this personality trait such as being curious, easily bored, spontaneous, risk-takers, understanding and very emotional. 

Which does sound like me, then I read more about what I’m “supposedly” like in a relationship and what I’m like in a job and how I handle stress and so on.

I can tell you, there are so many advantages of having a ENFP personality trait but I am going to list you 20 reasons why it also sucks:

1.        Having so many theories and idea’s and plans which you never follow through cause you’re completely unorganised!
2.        Wanting to experience everything but being so impatient you just want to do it immediately
3.        Never being 100% happy with everything because you keep contradicting yourself
4.        Utterly  freaking out your friends and family because of how much you stress when things don’t match up to the plan in your head
5.        People constantly accusing you of flirting
6.        Shocking people about how strong your beliefs are because majority of time you are easy going
7.        Getting bored 1000000000 times quicker than the average human being
8.        Constantly sticking with bad relationships (not just partners) because you can see how things COULD be and you focus on that and not really focus on what things are like in reality
9.        Forever forgetting to eat or get the right amount of sleep because eh who cares about your physical needs?
10.   Wanting to be in social situations and meet people but also being very socially conscious!
11.    For always working towards the goal of the ‘ideal self’ and not just being happy with who you are right this instant
12.    Frequently being so impatient that if the bus is two minutes late then uh-oh!
13.   Needing more alone time compared to other Extroverts but then getting bored after so much time
14.     Being more than happy to get into a long distance relationship because the idea of the concept of love but not looking at the long term goal in things – so tends to go south!
15.      When you’re relationship goes wrong, you forget that it’s a mutual thing and you tend to keep questioning why things went wrong and what would happen differently!
16. Being accused that you're on drugs when you're not!
17. Talking to yourself out loud because there is so much going on in your head you need to separate it.
18. 99.99999% of the time you hate being told what to do!
19. During some point in the week, you forget all social media/networks/mobile phones and switch of from the world. Sometimes you may not text anyone back for a few days! 
20.    You hate being criticized and cannot stand it if someone else is being criticising to another person

Cheers Amiga

I’m not the type of person to admit my feelings, like feelings are yucky. But lately, I’ve been feeling rather low and isolated and just been rubbish to be around. Sometimes when I get like that (well I’m sure we all feel like that sometimes)  I just feel like I annoy people, so I stop contact with people mostly cause I just feel annoying to be around or I like to see who actually cares and will bother to text or message me. Anyway, the past few days even when shit was going on something pretty sweet happened which made me not want to give up on humanity.

I received a DM of one of my twitter followers and it honestly made my day when I read what was said. I felt like crap and the fact that someone took the time out of the day to send this to me:-

Maybe it sounds dull that someone who I don't know manage to make my day go from a zero to a ten. But it was definitely needed, so to the person who messaged me this. Thank you so so so much for taking time out of your day to make sure I was ok and to tell me that I am important. Thank you for paying attention to a tweet which I didn't think anyone would even care about. And thank you for being a kind person and saying something and making me feel worth something again. - He/She was totally write though, I so would of kicked off about those memes! 

My Weekend Consisted Of..

Last weekend, I finally watched 'Good Will Hunting' – If you haven't seen it before or heard of it, it stars Robin Williams and it’s about a boy who is a genius but with his background and other issues he doesn’t reach his potential and then a professor recognises it and then he has to go to counselling sessions once a week as part of the deal. If you haven't seen it. I do highly recommend it.

In the film, you see that previous counsellors before Robin Williams was sat with a suit  and tie and looking down on him, trying to find quick solutions for him to become “fixed”. Now personally for me, I saw similar behaviours in my counselling sessions. Now I'm not saying that when I turned up at their office that they we’re sat there with a shirt and tie on and they thought they had the answers but I definitely felt that they we’re judging me and we’re quite patronising.

When I first went to counselling, I kind of expected the American film version (or the Freudian way) where you just sit on the couch and rant about everything, however it was nothing like that. I went in and had to fill in some questionnaire about how I was feeling – then the counsellor. This women I have never met expected me to open up to her straight away. Bearing in mind I was sixteen and I didn’t really want to be there but I also wanted to get better so I tried to cooperate my very best.

Now In CBT the whole point of it was to try and change the way you think about yourself. One exercise I had to list 10 things which I liked about myself which for someone who didn’t like anything about herself it was rather hard. I understand what they we’re trying to achieve, but for me  I was lying through my teeth. It was easy to say “I think I have nice eyes” or “I’m funny” but I didn’t believe those words, I didn’t believe anything like that. If anything I came out of that session worse. Altogether, I've had three different counsellors which isn’t really that bad compared to other people I know and A lot of people said that counselling is just bullshit but I don’t believe that’s the case. Even though for me counselling use to make me more upset, I realised that it was a safe place for me.

But, like Robin Williams was in Good Will Hunting – You have to be more of our equal than thinking you are better. I've had counsellors who have rolled their eyes at me, asked me why I was crying, called me unstable and said some really unhelpful things. Now really they shouldn't have said those things but they did but to say to someone with depression to just cheer up or someone with anxiety is your just being shy is complete and utter horse poop. If it was as easy for someone with depression to just “be happy” don’t you think we would? It’s easy to say on the outside just to do something but no-one would choose to live this kind of life if we had the choice, Others may have it worse than us but that doesn't solve our own problems.