If any of you know me or anything about me you may be aware
that a lot of my best friends are either bi or gay, we are in the year 2015 and
my best friends still get grief for the sexuality receiving comments such as
“you are a gay twat” or “your kind disgust me”.
Heck, the other day some boys
was giving my friend hate for their sexuality and in the end I turned around
and said my best friend was my boyfriend – Like my best friend had to feel
ashamed for his identity and hide it just to get some peace to walk down the
street!
My other best friend who is a lesbian - tends to get " Hey, you're too pretty to be a lesbian" like what?
Now I am aware that not everyone is accepting, I am aware people feel
disgusted in the idea of two sex’s being with each other whether its cultural
views or religious views but I am also aware that people who read this will
also think “What on earth? How can people be so cruel, that is so sad?”
Which I do agree with, I don’t understand why people need to
voice so negative opinions.
Now, for people who are reading this and are
homophobic – I am not ranting at you for being bad people or whatever, you have
every right to your opinion and just because it doesn’t collaborate with mine
doesn’t necessarily mean that I think your horrible, think what you want to
think BUT to make a human being feel shit for something is a part of them, well
it’s wrong - verbalising your hatred is something entirely different.
If you we’re made to be felt shit by something you are (whether it
be skin colour or eye colour or even if you had a physical or mental illness)
and you we’re being made to feel like walking down the street was actually a
hassle because of it, then wouldn’t you feel like absolute rubbish? – Hey some
people totally rock the hate they get and that’s pretty cool but doesn’t mean
they should still get it.
If you know this about me, then I study psychology and
sociology and I needed to find out why people are homophobic. And if you
haven’t heard of Freud, well my friend you are in for a treat! If you have ever
heard of Oedipus complex or the Greek Myth then you may see where this is
going. However, if you don’t this is just a simple explanation of his theory –
Freud believed that as a child there are five stages for your personality to
develop all depending on your age is depending on each stage. The stages are in
ascending order: Oral, Anal, Philliac, Latency and Genital.
If a child has too
much or too little of a stage they become fixated – for example, the anal stage
occurs when you are around 18 months to three years old if you have indulged
then whilst you're an adult you become an anal retentive which featured
characteristics such as wanting to have things immaculate. Anyway – Freud said
at the Philiac stage boys develop unconscious sexual wishes for their mother, he then becomes
rivals with his father and sees him as competition for the mother’s affection.
During this time, boys also develop a fear that their father will punish them
for these feelings, such as by castrating them. The boy then identifies with
his father By and by doing so the boy develops masculine characteristics and
identifies himself as a male, and represses his sexual feelings toward his
mother. A fixation at this stage could result in sexual deviances (both
overindulging and avoidance).
Kuyper develops Freud's theory and says that homophobia
is the result of the bits and pieces homosexuality
in the heterosexual resolution of the oedipal conflict. Whereas these notions
are vague, psychoanalytic theories usually postulate that homophobia is a
result of repressed homosexual urges.
However, they are unaware of the urges
but they are conflicted which then explains the emotional malaise and
irrational attitudes displayed by some individuals who feel guilty about their
erotic interests and struggle to deny and repress homosexual impulses.
Whilst researching I found a
study which absolutely fascinated me! It was done by Henry E. Adams,
Lester W. Wright, Jr., and Bethany A. Lohr who wanted to know if Homophobia
Associated With Homosexual Arousal. And what did they find? That non-homophobic
people wasn't turned on by the gay porn however the homophobic ones were and
showed a dramatic response verbally whilst watching it – obviously there may
have been flaws in the study but come on that is pretty interesting! I
recommend you give it a read when you have spare time on your hands!
Now, for the idiot who gave abuse to my best friend for his
sexuality – you may want to take a good look at your own life and realise why
you had to say what you said and how horrible it is to make an individual feel
that way. Maybe you are going through hell and back, I don’t know your life
story but there was no need to take it out on my friend. Maybe you are
struggling with yourself.
Once again I don’t know but think next time when you
open your mouth how much it can affect someone.
